I am such a two-faced bastard, huh? I mean, I get back on for maybe a week, and then, I dissapear for months, then I come back, with some sort of profuse apology, and then, guess what? I'm gone again. I am sick of hurting all of you, anyone, someone, if you're listening, I really am sorry. I have college work piled up to my neck, and when I think I am about to be done with it, I fall back into the hole that I have dug. I hate how I have treated you all, I hate how I say one thing and do another. I am caught deep in a veil of darkness, and I am struggling, trying to rip my way out, but, it is useless. I hope I can still call all of you friends, and as hypocritcal as it sounds, I am still very sorry for any pain that I have ever caused any of you, any trouble that any of you faced because of me, anything at all. If you need to attack me, attack me, if you need to hurt me, hurt me, it is nothing more than I deserve for tugging and pulling you along with me.

I would have more to say, but, like I said, I am trapped within a torrent of agonizing work. I don't expect any response, nor for anyone to really care about this. I don't mean to insult you by saying that any of you are trite or get upset too easily, I just feel that I may have pushed your limitations as the phantom that comes briefly and leaves for long peroids of time. Sometimes, I just feel like hitting myself, stabbing myself, just making it clear to me that I keep abandoning my good friends. I am all alone here, and now, I fear, I lost all of my friends when I left for college.

I hope that isn't true...

I'm sorry...